Lost1313 (original poster member #85442) posted at 7:06 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2026
I am 4 years out from Dday and have learned more about Infidelity than I had in the last 30 years. Before it hit home, I knew what it was but had no idea the disruption and pain that it causes and how much it changes you. I am so thankful for the SI forum as it has shown me that I am not alone in my journey. The stories, the frustration and the pain that is shared seems endless on here. Most of us trying to make sense of something that makes no sense to us. Searching for fairness from something that doesn't fight fair or follow rules. Asking questions and grasping for advice when we need it. Infidelity will leave a mark on everyone it touches but it doesn't have to dictate the rest of our lives. In my particular case, it took something as tragic as infidelity to bring about change in our marriage. Yes, my wife made the choice to be unfaithful but there were things that I needed to change as a husband too, understanding that nothing I did or said justifies her choice to be unfaithful. In the end we turned something terribly bad into a better version of ourselves and our marriage. As I have discovered, infidelity is unique to the people involve and one shoe does not fit all. There are so many different outcomes but there is one thing that we have all shared from this and that is the pain, frustration and disruptions of our lives. " For Better or Worse" is a fitting line in marriage vows as we now have experienced what can happen when things get tough in marriage and the poor choices people make at those times. I wish there was no need for this forum but I am thankful for all the people who have helped me and continue to help me. Infidelity is gut wrenching, not fair and makes no sense and there is so much in our lives we do not have control of. Letting go of the past is hard but it can be done. The choice is yours.
Lost1313
BH LTA 15 years Dday March 2022.Been together for almost 50 years. Married for 42 years Aug 2024. We are rebuilding and starting over.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 11:44 PM on Friday, May 29th, 2026
Infidelity will leave a mark on everyone it touches but it doesn't have to dictate the rest of our lives.
Very true, Lost. Very true.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 11:53 PM on Friday, May 29th, 2026
Letting go of the past is hard but it can be done. The choice is yours.
Two very important takes in each sentence there, and both helped me a great deal.
I don’t know if I will ever see anything ‘good’ come from the Hell we go through, other than on the other side of it, I did find empowerment in choosing each and every new day.
The reset sure has allowed for the building of something better.
I am glad you found a way to move forward!
Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca
